The Unspoken Role of the Bartender

Bartenders have always occupied a strangely intimate space in human culture. Part host, part mediator, part quiet observer, their role stretches far beyond simply pouring drinks. From their historical place at the heart of the community, to Hollywood’s romanticized depictions, to the sociological concept of the “third place,” the bartender has long served as a symbol of connection.

But with the growing use of technology, changing drinking habits, and shifting social norms, is the traditional archetype still relevant today? Is it even possible to fill that role anymore? and who on earth saddled the industry with arguably its most destructive slogan — “the customer is always right”?

The Role of a Bartender (Historically Speaking)

In Europe and colonial America from the 1600s to the 1800s, taverns were more than drinking holes — they were the beating heart of community life. With limited literacy and no formal social services, people naturally turned to publicans and innkeepers for guidance, news, and a sympathetic ear. The person behind the bar became a host, a mediator, and sometimes even an informal counselor.

By the 19th century in America, saloon culture cemented this identity. These spaces welcomed a diverse mix of workers, travelers, miners, immigrants, and soldiers — all carrying stories, frustrations, and loneliness. Positioned at the crossroads of their lives, the bartender became a referee in disputes and a companion to the displaced.

During Prohibition, when alcohol went underground, the bartender’s role took on an even more intimate tone. Drinking became secretive, intentional, and highly social. Speakeasy bartenders became confidants — gatekeepers to rooms where discretion meant everything.

The Media Portrayal

Hollywood has reinforced and romanticized this archetype for decades. From classic film noir to modern sci-fi, the bartender consistently appears as more than a service worker — they are a fixture of emotional steadiness.

In It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) and Passengers (2016), seventy years apart, the bartenders — Martini and Arthur — serve as calm, grounding presences. They listen without judgment, offer gentle guidance, and provide an anchor for characters in turmoil. Whether the backdrop is a small-town bar or a futuristic starship lounge, the symbolism remains unchanged: bartenders are portrayed as quiet guardians of emotional comfort.

The Third Place

History and Hollywood explain the mythology — but sociology explains the need.

Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term third place to describe environments outside of home (first place) and work (second place). These are the casual, communal spaces where people connect freely, without obligation or hierarchy.

In The Great Good Place (1989), Oldenburg argues that third places are essential for mental health and social cohesion. Bars often serve this purpose, and bartenders become their understated custodians. They keep the room comfortable, foster connection, and help people feel welcome — all without demanding attention or credit.

A Raising of the Bar

One of the beauties of modern bartending is how far the craft has evolved. As an industry, we’ve taken enormous leaps in what we can create for guests. From infusions and espumas to foams, gels, clarified cocktails, and carefully designed frozen glassware, bartenders have caught up with chefs in producing drinks that are technical, balanced, and thoughtfully garnished.

This level of mastery takes years of practice, yet unlike many professional fields, there is no clear route for career progression tied to skill.

So the craft itself has evolved but there has also been a tipping of the scales with interaction...

The Wrong Customer Is Always ‘Right’

Modern bartending operates within very different parameters nowadays than they have historically. Perhaps the biggest shift is control — or the loss of it.

As with many ideas, the phrase “The customer is always right” began with good intentions: to show appreciation, build trust, and assure people their complaints would be taken seriously. But once the hospitality industry embraced the slogan — with thanks to a certain Mr Selfridge and Mr Ritz — it sparked a power struggle between bartenders and a certain type of guest.

I exaggerate, but only slightly. The dynamic this phrase created seems almost unique to retail and hospitality. Bartenders are frequently given demands for creations that simply are either not doable or practical mid service — an alcohol-free, decaf sugar-free espresso martini, or the re-creation of “that blue cocktail” someone once drank on holiday in Majorca that “tasted like pineapple, but definitely wasn’t pineapple.”

Declining these requests often results in negative interactions and although it's the minority an element of diplomacy has become a requirement, requiring practitioners to balance their expertise with customer expectations while preserving the integrity of their work.

Keeper of the Third Place

So, does the host–confidant–referee archetype still exist in the industry today?

Absolutely. The very best bartenders combine historical traits with modern expertise, a relentless work ethic, and genuine warmth. These are the professionals who live and breathe the craft. That said, with the increased level of skill required to bartend (particularly at the highest levels) and a change in customer–bartender dynamics, I think more respect is due to the bartenders who continue to embrace the social side of the job.

On the rare occasions I get to sit at a bar as a guest, I’m reminded of how impressive the role still is: a bartender effortlessly juggling complex drinks, maintaining the atmosphere, engaging inquisitive guests, and keeping their workspace immaculate — all without appearing flustered.

As for those new to the industry and still finding their way, I believe we all — owners, managers, and guests alike — have a responsibility to offer encouragement and recognition. If we want the third place to survive, we must support the next generation of bartenders who keep it alive.